Today You Are Fourteen

Dear Jonah,

How well I remember the anticipation we felt fourteen years ago today when you finally decided to make your appearance in this world!

You started 8th grade this week and I was struck by how much you have grown/changed since you began middle school just two short years ago.  It was great to see you confidently exploring YOUR school on the night of the open house, navigating the process and school with ease, helping Toby, and visiting your favorite teacher from last year (Mr. Baldwin).

Your body loves to move and while you classify yourself as "not-an-athlete," I'm not sure that's accurate.  You regularly bike to school (5+ miles each way), still love flipping on the trampoline, and thrive in track & field as well as swim team.

Take your mark!

You had a phenomenal season last year on swim team!  You excel at the endurance events: you regularly swim the 500 yard freestyle and you've gained both confidence and skill.  You worked exceptionally hard this year and took great pride in your efforts, coming SO close to qualifying for Regionals in the 200 and the 500.  I look forward to watching you reach your goals this year as you're taller, stronger, and still in the 13-14 age bracket!



Your musical interests have expanded to learning the guitar and while we'll need to be strategic in adding another lesson to your busy schedule, I look forward to hearing you play guitar!

This past year has been a rocky one for you - and for us.  You encountered social complexities in the form of drama, gossip, the loyalty and motives of friends/classmates.  Not to mention the ratcheting up of academic expectations and responsibility/ independence.  A wise person told us recently that  these years "are ALL about building TRUST" - trust between kids/parents, between friends, with adults in your community -  and this was a good lens for us to use as we reflected on the year.

Jonah, you are kind and sensitive. You have good friends with whom you are close, and I am secretly relieved that you do not need to "fit in" or follow the crowd.  My heart aches for you in your romantic heartbreaks, especially when you bury your feelings under your "I'm fine" Iron-Man facade, but I've also watched you establish strong and loyal friendships with girls and I believe that these relationships will be the basis of your future romances.

While we may have clashed quite a bit last year around academics and missing assignments, I realized in the end that grades, while important, are just one piece of school.  At the Awards Ceremony at the end of the school year you won the "Caring" award (one of the IB pillars).  I have rarely been more proud of you! 

This summer you were gone more than you were home.  Between two canoe trips, scout camp, church camp, a week at Jaden's cabin, and a mission trip, you were away for 6 weeks!  We observed how happy and confident you were in those days you were at home.  It dawned on me that anytime you can be active and in nature, working (paddling/ camping), or giving of yourself (Chicago mission trip), you are feeding your soul.

May you listen to your soul and continue to embrace musical expression, the outdoors, and opportunities to help others in this next year and I hope that this is the first day of a wonderful year for you! 




I am incredibly proud of the young man you have become and I love you more than you could guess!

XOXOXO,
Mom

Eleven

Dear Toby,

I have so many thoughts in my head as I reflect upon your eleven-year-old self and remember that summer morning 11 years ago when I first held you and looked into your sunny face! 

You have matured so much in this past year.  I remember those first days of school last August, and how anxious you were about getting yourself to school and home: packing your backpack, getting your bike out and shutting the garage door, crossing a busy road, locking up your bike, and letting yourself back into the house.  Your commitment to the school safety patrol gave you the courage to take on this independence.   Now your independence is something we take for granted.

I see your maturity in your social interactions. You have a keen sense of justice and fairness and you are a deep thinker.  You're coming out of your shell more and more and I love hearing how you speak up and contribute to group discussions.  You're a quiet leader and your ability to "read" people and your gentle measured approach to problem-solving enables you to work with others to complete a task or activity.   This is what your classmates said about you and it really speaks to your character:

You are steady and calm and driven by logic.  You have taught me to better articulate my position by using logic.  But oh, boy, if you feel that a decision is not "fair" or that you're not being listened to, your temper kicks in! 

You are still an early riser although on occasion you can sleep until 8 or so.  You love to tease and you have a great sense of humor.  Your willingness to share details of your day gives me a window into your world: I love to listen to your observations.  Sometimes, though, I KNOW you are testing to see if I'm still listening, when you quietly drop a verbal bomb like "the Vomit Comet..." into the conversation.

You are determined and stubborn.  This quality enables you to set and reach goals and try new approaches to solve problems; however, it can also be your worst enemy as it is difficult to overcome your belief that you "can't" do something.  I'm grateful that you had the gentle nudges this spring to overcome your self-imposed limits by acting in plays at church and at school this spring.

Toby with Coaches PJ and Michelle at Regionals

You have so enjoyed swim team and I love to see your dedication, hard work and drive.  It is so much fun to watch you swim.


You love your movies, and it makes it really easy to plan a birthday party for you! This year we went to "How to Train Your Dragon 2" and came back home for cupcakes and nerf gun war.

Birthday party fun!

Brothers 2008

The Beck boys

You and Jonah are best buds and it has been apparent to me this summer how much you miss each other when one of you is gone (camps, etc.).  I hope you will always be there for one another.








As you turn eleven, so many exciting things are on your horizon.  In 2 weeks you'll begin middle school (!) and you're excited about joining the church youth group.  You are very much looking forward to jumping into STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math) afterschool activities and having more independence and responsibility. 

Happy Happy Birthday, my Toby!  I love you and am so proud of you, each and every day!

Love and hugs,
Mom

Seeds

When Toby left 2nd grade, his beloved Ms. Heidi wrote each of her students a love letter. 
This is my love letter to the Loring School community as Toby leaves Grade 5 and Loring Elementary.

At a year end event in the Schoolyard Garden, Ms. Tiffany delivered some wise words about children being like the plants in our garden.  She said, "Like plants, children don't flourish on their own" but need attention and INTENTION to grow and develop!  Tiffany talked about how critical it is to plant seeds and shower them with both attention and intention.


I have been reflecting lately on all the seeds that have taken root in our Toby these past 6 years.

6 years ago, this little guy was ready to start kindergarten. What a journey it has been!

The tears of not being able to decide what color to use on his picture morphed into the surprising news that the 2nd grade Toby "...is a fearless writer!"

The magic of learning how letters create words and words create meaning became a passion for nonfiction as well as fiction.

The painstaking practice of learning to write turned into research reports on Honeybadgers, poetry, hero stories, persuasive letters, and scientific presentations.


The child afraid of speaking blossomed into the boy who took the stage at the district spelling bee.

The early tears and meltdowns became  lessons in how to "stand up" which developed into speaking up about classroom incidents and creating a class petition for extra gym time.


School is about so much more than reading and math, although Toby has had plenty of great instruction and guidance in these areas.  NO standardized test can measure these critical opportunities:

Loring has provided  exposure to so many experiences - from chess club and math masters to Footlights drama club, from Kids Cook and the Schoolyard Garden

Harvest Festival in the garden 2013

 to Lego Robotics and CO2 cars, from singing and band to skiing,

Skiing the Minne-Loppet 2011

from building pop bottle rockets and making books to science fairs and "How-To" presentations.


Sydney and Toby enjoying an Egg snack 2010



Oh the Places He's Gone! :

~The 5th grade overnight environmental camp:

 

And then there were the local field trips:

~ Mapping the neighborhood and interviewing business owners ~  visiting the Victory flagpole ~

And of course the "Explore @ Loring" Camps: Camp Velocity and Camp da Vinci!

Andy and Toby June 2011 with Ms. Heidi and Mr. Templeton

There have been so many intentional moments.

Wise teacher words like:

"We're not going to worry if it's not perfect," 

"Mistakes are good; they help us grow; they teach us what we need to know," 

helped to establish a sense of calm in a little guy worried about following the rules.  You gave him permission to embrace his rule-following nature and opportunities to develop as a leader.

Toby as Britt in "Britt Jackson Speaks"

The intentionality of this community was evident in the way Ms. Nora (and the many dedicated Footlights! Drama Club leaders) helped Toby develop into an expert on stage lighting, urged him to join the writing team for plays, and carefully and deliberately encouraged Toby to find his niche ON stage as well.

Toby Safety Patrol 2013

And in the way Ms. D. reached out to give Toby a ride to school EVERY one of those (many) frigid mornings this long winter, because she knew how seriously Toby took his safety patrol post, and he could not be "on duty" in the morning unless he arrived at school early.

An important part of citizenship and life is getting along with others. Toby not only developed solid friendships but learned every day how to work with other kids.  It is easy to work with someone who is like you. Loring School taught my child how to learn with and from classmates with different skills and different challenges. 

Camp Audubon 2014 Team Challenge

I loved hearing that a teacher directed Toby's class to list three students with whom you work well as a way of assigning groups. Even better was Toby's surprise at some of the kids who put Toby on their lists!

Toby and trumpet 2014

Thank you, Loring School teachers and staff, for nurturing and developing this child.  Toby is academically ready for middle school.  But more important to Ken and to me are the deeper lessons Toby has learned.  

Mr. G. with Toby - August 2013

What we will always remember from our Loring conferences are not the test numbers you showed us, the reading or math scores, but your assessments of the PERSON Toby is:  "He doesn't give up when faced with a challenge."  "He is humble."  "He is steady."  "He loves to learn."  "His classmates like him."

Like Ms. Tiffany's plant analogy, these attributes didn't "just happen." Each of you, EVERY YEAR,  provided a safe space in which he could thrive and grow, and most of all, loved and encouraged him every step of the way.

The seeds you've planted and tended these past 6 years have given Toby deep roots; the attention and intention with which you showered him have helped Toby to learn and grow and develop into the capable boy he is today.  

This one child is a tiny representation of all the important ways you are developing young hearts and minds.  So grateful to Loring School and the many caring and giving professionals that make Loring the solid school it is!