Today You Are Fourteen

Dear Jonah,

How well I remember the anticipation we felt fourteen years ago today when you finally decided to make your appearance in this world!

You started 8th grade this week and I was struck by how much you have grown/changed since you began middle school just two short years ago.  It was great to see you confidently exploring YOUR school on the night of the open house, navigating the process and school with ease, helping Toby, and visiting your favorite teacher from last year (Mr. Baldwin).

Your body loves to move and while you classify yourself as "not-an-athlete," I'm not sure that's accurate.  You regularly bike to school (5+ miles each way), still love flipping on the trampoline, and thrive in track & field as well as swim team.

Take your mark!

You had a phenomenal season last year on swim team!  You excel at the endurance events: you regularly swim the 500 yard freestyle and you've gained both confidence and skill.  You worked exceptionally hard this year and took great pride in your efforts, coming SO close to qualifying for Regionals in the 200 and the 500.  I look forward to watching you reach your goals this year as you're taller, stronger, and still in the 13-14 age bracket!



Your musical interests have expanded to learning the guitar and while we'll need to be strategic in adding another lesson to your busy schedule, I look forward to hearing you play guitar!

This past year has been a rocky one for you - and for us.  You encountered social complexities in the form of drama, gossip, the loyalty and motives of friends/classmates.  Not to mention the ratcheting up of academic expectations and responsibility/ independence.  A wise person told us recently that  these years "are ALL about building TRUST" - trust between kids/parents, between friends, with adults in your community -  and this was a good lens for us to use as we reflected on the year.

Jonah, you are kind and sensitive. You have good friends with whom you are close, and I am secretly relieved that you do not need to "fit in" or follow the crowd.  My heart aches for you in your romantic heartbreaks, especially when you bury your feelings under your "I'm fine" Iron-Man facade, but I've also watched you establish strong and loyal friendships with girls and I believe that these relationships will be the basis of your future romances.

While we may have clashed quite a bit last year around academics and missing assignments, I realized in the end that grades, while important, are just one piece of school.  At the Awards Ceremony at the end of the school year you won the "Caring" award (one of the IB pillars).  I have rarely been more proud of you! 

This summer you were gone more than you were home.  Between two canoe trips, scout camp, church camp, a week at Jaden's cabin, and a mission trip, you were away for 6 weeks!  We observed how happy and confident you were in those days you were at home.  It dawned on me that anytime you can be active and in nature, working (paddling/ camping), or giving of yourself (Chicago mission trip), you are feeding your soul.

May you listen to your soul and continue to embrace musical expression, the outdoors, and opportunities to help others in this next year and I hope that this is the first day of a wonderful year for you! 




I am incredibly proud of the young man you have become and I love you more than you could guess!

XOXOXO,
Mom

Eleven

Dear Toby,

I have so many thoughts in my head as I reflect upon your eleven-year-old self and remember that summer morning 11 years ago when I first held you and looked into your sunny face! 

You have matured so much in this past year.  I remember those first days of school last August, and how anxious you were about getting yourself to school and home: packing your backpack, getting your bike out and shutting the garage door, crossing a busy road, locking up your bike, and letting yourself back into the house.  Your commitment to the school safety patrol gave you the courage to take on this independence.   Now your independence is something we take for granted.

I see your maturity in your social interactions. You have a keen sense of justice and fairness and you are a deep thinker.  You're coming out of your shell more and more and I love hearing how you speak up and contribute to group discussions.  You're a quiet leader and your ability to "read" people and your gentle measured approach to problem-solving enables you to work with others to complete a task or activity.   This is what your classmates said about you and it really speaks to your character:

You are steady and calm and driven by logic.  You have taught me to better articulate my position by using logic.  But oh, boy, if you feel that a decision is not "fair" or that you're not being listened to, your temper kicks in! 

You are still an early riser although on occasion you can sleep until 8 or so.  You love to tease and you have a great sense of humor.  Your willingness to share details of your day gives me a window into your world: I love to listen to your observations.  Sometimes, though, I KNOW you are testing to see if I'm still listening, when you quietly drop a verbal bomb like "the Vomit Comet..." into the conversation.

You are determined and stubborn.  This quality enables you to set and reach goals and try new approaches to solve problems; however, it can also be your worst enemy as it is difficult to overcome your belief that you "can't" do something.  I'm grateful that you had the gentle nudges this spring to overcome your self-imposed limits by acting in plays at church and at school this spring.

Toby with Coaches PJ and Michelle at Regionals

You have so enjoyed swim team and I love to see your dedication, hard work and drive.  It is so much fun to watch you swim.


You love your movies, and it makes it really easy to plan a birthday party for you! This year we went to "How to Train Your Dragon 2" and came back home for cupcakes and nerf gun war.

Birthday party fun!

Brothers 2008

The Beck boys

You and Jonah are best buds and it has been apparent to me this summer how much you miss each other when one of you is gone (camps, etc.).  I hope you will always be there for one another.








As you turn eleven, so many exciting things are on your horizon.  In 2 weeks you'll begin middle school (!) and you're excited about joining the church youth group.  You are very much looking forward to jumping into STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math) afterschool activities and having more independence and responsibility. 

Happy Happy Birthday, my Toby!  I love you and am so proud of you, each and every day!

Love and hugs,
Mom