Thirteen!

Dear Jonah,

Today you enter your teen years - I wish you the happiest of birthdays!  I remember so well those first moments I saw you with your bright eyes and tiny limbs!  I remember spanning your shoulder-blade "wings" with a finger...

Now we stand nearly shoulder to shoulder

and your feet are larger than mine and we fight over the blue birkenstocks - until your next growth spurt, that is, when they will become MINE!  :)

I have used the analogy of spreading your wings before in these pages, but that is the image which comes to mind when I think about your growing independence; in getting yourself to the school bus in the mornings, meeting friends at the pool, biking to friends' houses, scout meetings, etc.

You thrive on that independence but resist the responsibility that comes along with it.  You detest being told what to do and this is the cause of many arguments between us.  I so want you to internalize the next logical step: taking care of your tasks BEFORE someone has to tell you what to do.

Jonah, you do teenage scorn and withering glances so well!  I know this is part of your march toward adulthood and I remember all too well my own teenage years.  I need to practice patience and honor your journey as well as tell you often how proud I am of the young man you are becoming!

You are a quiet, steady force, engaged and involved in communities that matter to you: Boy Scouts, church youth group gatherings/camps, school activities such as band and the school play.  Dad was so proud of the way you engaged with your group at church camp this year.

After earning your first aid badge in scouts, you've become a calm and capable resource when injuries arise: not only your own injuries, but those of others as well.  You have the knowledge, confidence, and presence of mind that has all but obliterated the overreaction of my younger Jonah when faced with blood or injury (I remember such outbursts as "You're killing me!").  You did face a pretty major emergency this summer when a glass exploded in your hand when you were 6 hours away at a friend's cabin, resulting in a trip to the ER and stitches.















Your love of music is one of your defining characteristics.  You're most excited about jazz band this year and I love that you play piano wherever you find one.

The great outdoors is where you were born to be.  This summer you discovered kayaking and loved it!

You went to scout camp, church camp, a mission trip, and spent 6 days and nights canoeing the Boundary Waters.

When you came home from the Boundary Waters you announced that as soon as you're old enough, you plan to spend the summer at the base camp as a "swamper" doing anything and everything the camp needs!






While you have a solid - and growing - group of good friends, you are still very much an introvert and crave your down time at home. Finding your balance between your social interests and your quiet time will be a constant challenge in your life, I'm sure.

At camp: a few of your friends

Your sensitivity and HUGE feelings have caused you to build walls around yourself.  You do not like to talk about your inner life and you have been especially guarded when it comes to talking about your relationships.  This makes my heart hurt and what I want most for you is to be able to have the confidence in yourself that allows you to open up to others.  It has taken me most of my life to gradually learn this.  If I could wave a magic wand and give you this ability, that would be your birthday gift.

We have so few rites of passage in our culture, and turning 13 is certainly a milestone.  I'm glad for you that you could spend your birthday with your friends in school, and I want you to know today and every day how much I love you!

Lift your head up high and spread your wings.  Be open and vulnerable - and soar!

Love,
Mom

Toby is Ten!

Dear Toby,

One of my favorite baby pics! Toby @ 3  months old

As always, I have been remembering that lovely summer morning 10 years ago when we first met you and began this journey.

Mowing the lawn!

How much you have grown and changed in the last year!  It has been fun to watch you build your confidence this year.  You've been hesitant to try new things; however, once you take that step, you are proud of your leadership.  You took your job as a school safety patrol member very seriously and your favorite class at Camp Legionville this summer was first aid. Recently, you discovered that mowing lawns is a great way for a kid to earn money and have set up a business plan and partnership with your buddy Andy.

You have definite opinions on things.  While this can be challenging sometimes, I admire your certainty and decisiveness (notice I did not use the word stubborn?!).

Since you were very small, you've loved to help in the kitchen.  Your interest in cooking has grown this year as well and it is always fun to help you cook.  There is usually some discussion of how things work:

This picture represents the detailed explanation
of how this hand mixer operates!

I look forward to helping you create some of your recipes from your new cookbook.

You possess a maturity and insight that I know I did not have at age 10.  You told me recently that you want to live on campus when you go to college because it's part of the college experience to learn to live on your own with someone else and good practice for when you have a family.  At the pool this summer, when Jonah and his friends brushed past us with barely an acknowledgement, your response was, "I don't know why Jonah acts like he doesn't have a family. . . "  followed by the Eddie Haskell-ish affirmation, "This is what is great about waterparks- the chance to be with my family: there's nothing better!"  (Yes, of course I fell for it!)













Of course, this last quote also demonstrates your sensitivity and concern for the feelings of others, qualities I treasure in you.  This year brought many challenges with the behavior of some of your classmates.  You are clearly able to articulate issues and are frustrated when others don't follow the rules; and at the same time, you are able to express some explanations for the behaviors.  You have learned to speak up and advocate for yourself and others this year: a hugely important skill!



I admire your big dreams and goals.   Whether working on Wall Street, designing roller-coasters or becoming a physicist, all your future career interests include lots of math!  Math is your favorite subject and the logic of math appeals to the way your brain works.



You have decided that this spring/summer was to be your last soccer season.  I will miss cheering you on the soccer field but look forward to your new endeavors as well!

You still struggle with worry. Lately, you're most anxious about severe weather. Last night we had storms during the block party for National Night Out and you were worried to the point of not being able to eat or enjoy yourself.  You were somewhat calmed by looking at the weather radar and seeing the projected track of storms; you desperately want CERTAINTY to cling to and storms are anything but!  

Some of your favorite activities are playing "Magic: The Gathering" and "Dungeons and Dragons" with Dad and Jonah.  You've gotten into "Star Trek" this year and were delighted to meet a new church friend who has been a major Trekkie in his life!

You love watching movies.  For your birthday party this year, you took friends to "Despicable Me 2" and had a blast!  

The down side of your love of movies, of course, is that you have not read as many books this summer as you have in years past.  Your favorite reading material this year has been Calvin and Hobbes cartoons: Calvin's antics and Hobbes' dry wit can entertain you for hours and it is fun to talk about some of the deeper themes and messages with you.

I am having trouble wrapping my brain around the fact that this will be your last year of elementary school.  It seems like just yesterday I was sending off an anxious, tiny, just-turned-five year old off to kindergarten.  Now you are ready for grade 5!

Happy 10th Birthday, Toby!  I love you so much!