Monday, January 30, 2012

Reaching


The other day at the grocery store, I ran into Jonah’s preschool teacher, Ms. Chris.  For anyone who remembers Jonah at 5, this will be a trip down memory lane, as it was for me.  

Jonah’s arrival at All God’s Children Learning Center was abrupt.  It followed a disastrous couple of days in a kindergarten class into which his clueless parents had deposited him.  Barely five years old, Jonah was quite clearly not ready for kindergarten, a fact that any reasonable parent would have known, but which we, his parents, had yet to discover.  

This is the child whose lagging fine motor skills meant that he could not trace his letters, and, while he knew some of his letters, Jonah refused to “show” what he knew.  This is the sensitive boy who could not deal with noisy places or kids jostling him on the playground; the kid who did not manage transitions well, could not converse with adults, and whose response to frustration was to melt down, usually loudly. 

The school social worker and his kindergarten teacher very graciously led us to the realization that Jonah would be so much more ready for school if he waited another year.  As fate would have it, the preschool room at Toby’s new childcare center had an opening for Jonah, and Ms. Chris was ushered into his life.

Ms. Chris said she still remembers that terrified little boy, who stubbornly sat down criss-cross-applesauce and refused to interact.  She remembers lifting him, legs still crossed, and physically moving him to the other side of the room for the morning activity.  Jonah, she recalls, refused to do anything unless he was “absolutely confident that he could do it correctly". . . some things haven’t changed. . . 

Ms. Chris remembers having Jonah parked on her lap quite often that fall.  She became an ever-present part of his daily routine, gently encouraging him, working with him, and gradually drawing him out of his shell.   She was perceptive enough to realize that Jonah needed a “safe space” in which to plant himself and grow, and she provided the sunshine and warmth he needed to do just that.

“Is he still a reader?” Ms. Chris asked me.  She was his first reading teacher, and I will always remember the excited phone call Jonah made to me at work, one December morning, saying, “Mommy, I read my first book!” Little did she know at the time that Jonah’s lifelong love of books would be spurred by her making this moment such a celebratory event.

Ms. Chris is still teaching 4-6 year-olds at All God’s Children Learning Center. Kids like Jonah, she told me, are her favorite kids to work with:  “. . .these are the kids you have to reach for; not the ones clinging to your legs, clamoring for your attention.”

I am ever so grateful that Jonah had Ms. Chris, who not only reached for him, but met him where he was, carried him and nurtured that scared little boy six years ago!

Monday, January 23, 2012

Personal touch



X-ray. MRI. scan. oxygen. RN. CNA. Aide. PT. OT. cardiologist. IV. wheelchair. cart. oximeter. pulmonary hypertension. thyroid biopsy. COPD. Sleep Study.  Lung function.

I have learned a few bits of "hospital lingo" in the past several days, since my mom was admitted to St. Joseph's hospital.  Being hospitalized causes quite an upset in one's daily schedule:
  • Unannounced visits from "Nutrition," "Physical Therapy,"  "Occupational Therapy," 
  • not to mention nurses, aides, and doctors - her own, a lung doctor, a heart doctor, a thyroid doctor, 
  • being poked, prodded, scanned,
  • having to ask a question of multiple people and hear variations on "I don't know," before getting a more definite answer,
  • having to ring for a nurse in order to get out of bed,
  • and just being alone in an unfamiliar room.

It is a scary experience, and can cause a patient to feel like a number: for instance, every time medication is administered, the staff needs to scan Mom's wristband and ask her for her name and birthdate.  

Fortunately, there IS a human side that does not get lost in all of the schedules, sterility, and seriousness.

I was fortunate to be reminded of this with my mom early on.  She was taking a walk in the hallway with an aide.  The floor nurse approached us and greeted my mom warmly, introducing herself and asking Mom, "What can we do to make your stay at St. Joe's more comfortable?" The nurse told Mom, "It is our pleasure to have you here and we want to do anything we can to make your time here more comfortable."  She was so genuine and caring and the timing was perfect: there had been so much testing and scanning and none of us really knew what was coming next.  It was a perfect reminder of the importance of the human connection in medical care.

The terms we're hearing a lot these days are happier: Home Care. Discharge. Follow-up.

I am grateful for the thorough care my Mom has been given at St. Joseph's but will be glad to discontinue my visits to the hospital and exchange them for visiting Mom in her own apartment.