Yes . . . he wants the "girl" toy!

Back in our child-free days, Ken and I had many conversations about raising kids "gender-neutrally." We’ve tried to practice this: Jonah and Toby have both had dolls and love all their stuffed animals along with their cars, trains, and balls. They love to paint their toenails, and the boys will proudly say, “Any girl can wear pink but it takes a strong boy to wear pink!”

Sometimes, however, popular culture thwarts our best efforts… usually it’s a snide comment about a pink swim towel or favorite animal...

…at other times it comes from an unlikely source…

Recently the boys each brought home reading rewards from school: certificates for free McDonald’s Happy Meals. (Let’s not delve too deeply into this reward philosophy here.) On the way to McDonald’s to claim the rewards, Toby announced, “I want a kitty watch” because a girl in his class had one that she had gotten from McDonalds. McDonalds is, after all, ALL about the toys.

Once inside, Toby ran over to the toy display rack, where the “Hello, Kitty” watches were displayed along with the mini video game toys. Toby was unfazed by Jonah’s comment that “Hello, Kitty” is a girl thing and admired the display, wondering which one would be his.

The boys skipped to the counter where the very nice woman was ready to take their orders.

Toby said, “I’d like chicken nuggets and a kitty watch, please.”

The woman asked him, “Are you a girl or a boy?”

Toby’s prompt response: “boy!”

She paused and said, “The watch is for girls and for boys we have video games.”

He said, “But I want a kitty watch.”

“But you’re a boy.”

“Yes.”

She looked at him again and said, “Are you sure you want a girl toy?”

He again said he was sure.

So she slid a pink watch across the counter to him and said, “It’s pink . . . is this ok?” oblivious to the happy grin plastered to his face.

In the end, she gave him a “boy toy” along with the coveted watch – I guess this helped make it ok in her mind to deliver a “girl toy” to a boy.

Does it have to be so difficult? And does this look like a boy who’s worried about having the “wrong” toy?!

For the love of . . . reading!

Watching a child learn to read is so amazing! Toby has just joined the ranks of "readers" and these past few months have reminded me how awesome is the process of learning to decode letters and sounds and make meaning.

Jonah and Toby have both loved books since they were babies and anyone who has been in our house (or helped us move) can attest to the size of our book collections. Books have always been favorite gifts and read and re-read until memorized. Before they knew the alphabet, both boys would correct us if we misread words.

Jonah had a wonderful preschool teacher who taught him to read and I still remember the day I got the joyful call from Jonah at preschool announcing, "Mommy, I read my first book!" About a year ago, Jonah and I started reading chapter books aloud together and it has become a special part of our days.

Toby loves to be read to but also enjoys paging through books on his own. He has always been fascinated with rhymes and Dr. Seuss is high on his list of favorite authors. Until recently, he has been hesitant to actually read words aloud although he has known all the letters and their sounds for months. Toby's kindergarten teachers make learning to read fun and interactive and help the kids build a solid base, gain confidence, and master reading skills. In the past month, Toby's confidence has soared and he is reading easy readers and sounding out unfamiliar words.

Last night Toby read a new book out loud to his brother. Jonah completely made Toby's day when he announced to us at dinner, "Toby read the whole book perfectly and didn't make any mistakes!"

Reading a good book is at the top of my list of favorite activities, and one of my hopes for Jonah and Toby is that they will also enjoy a life-long love of reading. Reading to and with the boys and watching them grow into readers will be something I will always treasure!

Winter fun!

Jumpin' Monkeys

This story describes how I got totally spanked by a 5-year-old at a game called "Jumpin' Monkeys."

The object of the game is to catapult your four plastic monkeys onto a plastic tree. The monkeys have to be hanging from their hands, not lying flat on top of the tree. You win the round if you're the first to get your moneys to land in the tree hanging from their hands. The winner of the round gets all of the bananas in the banana pile. In the end, the person with the most bananas in his or her banana pile wins the game.

So I'm playing this game with a 5-year old, right? I'm taking it easy, trying not to win too quickly and damage his fragile, developing ego. Well, in very little time, this 5-year old (Toby's classmate and our friend) has successfully landed three of his monkeys in the tree and I've only got 1. I apply some strategy -- I've decided to aim for his monkeys. That's right, folks, I was gotta knock out his monkeys to save my neck. I'm not sure what happened to my "don't damage his fragile developing ego" bit from the beginning of the game but those thoughts were long gone - like a plastic monkey launched from a plastic catapult. I'm takin' out his monkeys!

I missed. His turn. I watched him catapult his last monkey into the tree. I could feel my own ego getting smashed up like a mushy banana as it landed perfectly in the tree. His four monkeys were hanging there, mocking me. Smiling at me with those eyes. I'm sure they were laughing at me. He won. He shouted gleefully, arms raised in victory. The bananas in the banana pile were his.

My ego was quickly repaired, however, since I won the next round.

We never got to finish the game. By the time we were ready for round three, more kids had come upstairs, drawn zombie-like to the victorious laughter of a happy 5-year old catapulting plastic monkeys in the living room. These kids wanted to play too.

The game quickly deteriorated as Jonah discovered that the ceiling fan was within range of his plastic monkeys. They also discovered that they could hit their own heads with their own plastic monkeys. They discovered that each others' heads were within range. Toby discovered that it was way more fun to catapult your monkey OVER the tree and into the lap of the friend sitting opposite you than it was to get it to hang in the tree.

Monkeys were flyin' everywhere. Kids were shrieking with laughter.

I discovered the joy of hosting our baby-siting co-op.