Tomorrow is election day. In Minnesota, unless one is completely tuned out, you know that we will decide on a proposed constitutional amendment: which would insert language into the Minnesota state constitution defining marriage as between a man and a woman.
About a month ago,
our church hosted a workshop put on by
Minnesotans United for All Families clarifying what this amendment is and is not, and encouraging all of us to have conversations with people we know regarding this upcoming vote.
The boys had been aware of this issue for some time; however, this event brought up additional conversation.
That day, in the car, Toby asked, "So people want to make it illegal for two moms or two dads to get married?"
We explained that same sex marriage is already not recognized by the state of Minnesota and that this amendment would put that into the state constitution. Voting no on this amendment does not make same sex marriage legal. This was perhaps most confusing of all. "Wait - what?! It's not legal in Minnesota to marry your partner if you're gay? Then why have this amendment?"
They said, "So, gay people can have kids, right? . . . but they can't get MARRIED?" This makes no sense to them. Why would the state of Minnesota want to prevent someone from marrying the person that he/she loves? good question.
We explained as best we could the arguments on the pro-amendment side. (I admit we have a little trouble trying to explain the pro-amendment argument that the Bible defines marriage = one man + one woman: do you know how many wives some of these Biblical heroes had?)
But Jonah and Toby were perplexed.
The boys know what gay and straight mean and they have friends with two moms or two dads. (They also know friends who have single parents, divorced parents, and friends who live with grandparents. They know adults who are single or with partners, same sex or opposite sex. They know kids who have adoptive or foster parents. They know there are MANY types of families.)
We have raised Jonah and Toby to respect ALL people and to believe that each of us is exactly who we are supposed to be.
Perhaps it comes down to the fact that the boys are closer to these fundamental human rules we teach children: Treat others as you would like to be treated. Don't judge others. Be kind. Love one another.
Maybe we all would do well to remember these things.
Both boys cheer when they see a "Vote No" sign or billboard. Toby wishes with all his heart that kids would be allowed to vote on this issue.
Minnesota: Take note! Your future awaits: In the next 9 years, Jonah and Toby will BOTH be registered voters.
