Back in our child-free days, Ken and I had many conversations about raising kids "gender-neutrally." We’ve tried to practice this: Jonah and Toby have both had dolls and love all their stuffed animals along with their cars, trains, and balls. They love to paint their toenails, and the boys will proudly say, “Any girl can wear pink but it takes a strong boy to wear pink!”
Sometimes, however, popular culture thwarts our best efforts… usually it’s a snide comment about a pink swim towel or favorite animal...
…at other times it comes from an unlikely source…
Recently the boys each brought home reading rewards from school: certificates for free McDonald’s Happy Meals. (Let’s not delve too deeply into this reward philosophy here.) On the way to McDonald’s to claim the rewards, Toby announced, “I want a kitty watch” because a girl in his class had one that she had gotten from McDonalds. McDonalds is, after all, ALL about the toys.
Once inside, Toby ran over to the toy display rack, where the “Hello, Kitty” watches were displayed along with the mini video game toys. Toby was unfazed by Jonah’s comment that “Hello, Kitty” is a girl thing and admired the display, wondering which one would be his.
The boys skipped to the counter where the very nice woman was ready to take their orders.
Toby said, “I’d like chicken nuggets and a kitty watch, please.”
The woman asked him, “Are you a girl or a boy?”
Toby’s prompt response: “boy!”
She paused and said, “The watch is for girls and for boys we have video games.”
He said, “But I want a kitty watch.”
“But you’re a boy.”
“Yes.”
She looked at him again and said, “Are you sure you want a girl toy?”
He again said he was sure.
So she slid a pink watch across the counter to him and said, “It’s pink . . . is this ok?” oblivious to the happy grin plastered to his face.
In the end, she gave him a “boy toy” along with the coveted watch – I guess this helped make it ok in her mind to deliver a “girl toy” to a boy.
Does it have to be so difficult? And does this look like a boy who’s worried about having the “wrong” toy?!
